Are You Unconsciously Building End-of-Life Regret?
Article date: Oct 7 2014
Marcus Straub
The second most-cited regret of people at the end of their
lives is this: “I wish I hadn’t worked so much.” It’s an
extraordinarily powerful and telling statement given all the things a
person could possibly regret when looking back at the life they lived.
For those who have a lot of life still to live, this perspective from
the end of life points toward the wisdom in taking a different and more
conscious approach to work and business.
The people who expressed this deep-seated regret
acknowledged spending too much time on the treadmill of work while
sacrificing valuable time with their spouses, children, extended family,
friends and even themselves. They also allowed their personal dreams
and lifetime adventures outside of financial success to pass them by.
The profound truth is that once gone, these moments and experiences can
never be recaptured.
During a discussion with a “successful” businessman, he
asked about my recent vacation to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico. After
sharing with him how I had turned my business off for five days to focus
on time with my wife, he replied, with obvious regret in his voice, “I
wish I could say that.” This type of wishful thinking constitutes the
very foundation of a silent and growing regret that must be caught early
and turned around. If it isn’t, it will likely lead to behaviors that
will become a top regret at the end of life.
The thought of becoming wildly successful financially —
along with all the accolades that come with it — can become extremely
addicting because it feeds the ego. As with any addiction, it has the
ability to take over, blinding us to a more comprehensive picture of
life and all that it has to offer. When this happens, it creates a
situation where we’re out of balance, ultimately limiting the feelings
of happiness and success for which we strive.
There’s a common and prevailing mantra in business about
making as much money as you possibly can, about being successful at all
costs. There’s no doubt that being as profitable as you can and standing
tall above your competitors constitutes a primary aim in business. The
question is: At what cost?
A business owner whose sole focus is on making as much
money as possible typically has the perspective that his or her team
members should have the same focus. By forgetting that these people also
have lives, hopes, dreams and desires, they come to demand more and
more from them. The reason is simple: When the focus is solely on money
and the accumulation of wealth, people and their happiness and
well-being are discounted and forgotten.
One aspect of my work with business owners is to help them
see the bigger picture of their lives — to discover within themselves
what they value and whether what they’re sacrificing in their pursuit of
riches is truly acceptable to them.
Once my clients develop solid skills in balancing life and
work, they begin to make different choices in how they allocate their
time. Through this fundamental change they come to experience a more
profound form of success — one that still includes financial gain (often
more than ever before), but isn’t solely focused on it as a driving
force in life. In turn, there’s typically a trickle down effect on their
team members as their life and work balance is encouraged and
supported.
It’s important to understand that once your children are
grown, your youth has faded and your health has deteriorated, the
forsaken dreams you left behind in the pursuit of money can’t be
recaptured. That time has passed forever. We all know of people who
worked their whole life to make enough money to travel and enjoy the
many pleasures of life only to discover that by the time they’d
“arrived,” they were unable to do so because they’d waited too long.
Your life is happening right now! There’s room within it
for everything you desire, including making money and enjoying the
multitude of other things that bring you happiness and pleasure. Once
you’re conscious about your life and work and have the skills in place
to create vital balance, you won’t have to work so hard to experience
the happiness and success you want. And you won’t regret having worked
too much.
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