A
great deal of the happiness and success we experience is derived from the
relationships we find to be meaningful, fulfilling and satisfying. More often
than not, these are the same relationships where we feel respected, valued,
cared about and heard. Just for today, listen more than you talk. When the urge
to advise or problem solve arises in you, and is unsolicited by the person
talking, resist the urge and go back to listening. Reflect on the positive
effects that truly listening brings to the relationship, how good it feels to
really listen to and understand others, and let that personal truth guide your
listening in future communications.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Coaching Tip #1003 "Rise Above Your Challenges"
No
matter what challenges you might be dealing with as you enter this day in your
life, muster the strength to meet your day with gratitude for all that is good.
Draw on your inner fortitude to generate hope, optimism and the courage to take
actions that will allow you to rise above your challenges. There are solutions
to your difficulties and they all start with your attitude about you, and your
reality. Look for and find the best within your situation, and you will unlock
the gateway to a better day.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Coaching Tip #1002 "Take The Wheel"
The
twists and turns in life, the unexpected events and occurrences, the out of
left field - "Where did that come from?" kind of stuff can really add
up leading to feelings of overwhelm, disappointment, frustration, despair and
unhappiness. In this situation, it feels like the weight of the world is upon
you with no end in sight and your brain struggles to make sense of it all. When
in doubt about what your next step is, choose thoughts, actions and words that
let you handle the situation as best you can. It's not about avoidance or
denial, or even just putting on your best face. Turning your reality around is about
taking control of your energy in the midst of the chaos you are experiencing,
and making the best choices you can given the circumstances. Always choose to steer
yourself out of the storm and into the calmer, more pleasant waters of life as quickly
as possible.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Business Times Column #70
Now hear this: Are you listening with integrity?
Article date: Jan 22 2014
Marcus Straub
Simply look at your own life and your relationships to understand the importance of the communication process. In those relationships you find most rewarding, fulfilling and successful, communication is more effective than not. Conversely, when you consider your relationships that are the most unsettling, which cause the most pain and suffering and are the least successful, communication is either not present at all or is so limited in its effectiveness the relationship suffers as a result.
Not truly listening and ineffective communication often lead to broken businesses, disgruntled team members, unsatisfied clients, “failed” marriages, disassociation with loved ones, frustration and anger, to name only a few.
Here are some important questions to consider: Do you like it when others truly listen to you? Do you feel respected, acknowledged and valued when others really listen to what you’re saying? Do you have greater rapport and trust with those who actually listen to you? In other words, do you like it when others care enough to be absolutely present with you in their listening? The truth is, we all want to be heard.
There are several sabotaging behaviors, or blockers, that limit our listening abilities. These include:
- Sparring: You actually look for things with which to disagree.
- Derailing: You derail the train of conversation with sudden changes to the topic or make jokes as you become bored or uncomfortable.
- Rehearsing: Your attention is focused on preparing what you’ll say next.
- Advising: You believe you have the answer to the other person’s situation and go into the mode of offering advice rather than truly listening.
- Judging: You prejudge the person you are communicating with and use negative labels to do so.
- Placating: You agree with everything the other person says in an effort to get along, to be liked or because you aren’t truly listening.
- Being right: Your mind focuses on arranging the information, saying things and/or acting in ways so as to not be wrong.
- Daydreaming: Your attention is on anything other than the conversation, like a vacation you want to take, things you need to get done or an unresolved issue in your life.
- Identifying: You use the stories of others as a reference point to tell your own at the expense of theirs.
- Comparing: Comparing makes it hard to listen because you assess who’s more intelligent, more confident and more emotionally healthy or has worked harder.
- Mind reading: Mind readers don’t pay much attention to what people actually say. In fact, they often distrust it. If you make assumptions about how people react to you, then you’re probably wrong.
- Filtering: You listen to some things and not to others. You only pay attention to see if somebody’s angry or unhappy; if you’re in emotional danger; or to avoid hearing certain things, particularly anything threatening, critical or unpleasant.
Participants in my communication trainings are always astounded to learn, first hand, just how much they unknowingly sabotage their personal and professional relationships by not listening. Reversing this and becoming someone who listens with integrity is simple once you’re taught how.
Listening effectively to others can be the most fundamental and powerful communication tool of all. The first step to improvement is to have a good understanding of what you can do or stop doing to get better. The ill effects of your ineffective listening are all but eliminated and interactions become more successful and pleasant as you stop talking or thinking and begin truly listening to others.
Building the powerful habit of truly listening is the first step in becoming an effective communicator and building successful relationships. Ultimately, the valuable pieces of information needed to foster healthy relationships — and more successful businesses — will be shared and heard.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Coaching Tip #1001 "You Matter!"
In the midst of all your tasks and all you do for others, don't forget to "do" for yourself as well. You matter! Carve out time for you - for your health and your overall well-being. Engage your passions, pursue your interests and take personal adventures. Make time to learn, grow and become more of what you want to be. Have fun, relax into your free time and enjoy your life. When your cup overflows because you have given yourself what you need to be happy, fulfilled and at your best what you do with, and for others, is so much more powerful and rewarding.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Coaching Tip #1,000 "You Can!"
Be authentically you, and be the very best version of yourself that you can be. Not perfect - the best you can be given the circumstances. Grow your self-worth, self-confidence and self-love through being a person that you respect, trust and admire. Make gratitude your constant companion and experience the most inspired and wonderful life available to you. Take things in stride. Enjoy your life, and touch others with your joy, happiness and success. You can!
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Coaching Tip #999 "Experiences"
Each
experience contains valuable information that can prove useful as you make
choices in the future. Pay attention to your experiences - your thoughts and
feelings about them. Use this highly valuable information to repeat choices
that created outcomes you liked and felt good about. Conversely, use the
knowledge gained from previous experiences that you did not like or feel good
about to make a different choice the next time. Your experiences are learning opportunities,
which if used, will make you wiser.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Business Times Column #69
Are you paying attention to the other bottom line?
Article date: Jan 8 2014
Marcus Straub
There are a number of important people and factors that contributed to the very creation of your business and others that now keep it viable, profitable and even growing. It’s imperative these components of your business receive their due focus as well lest they become neglected.
As you close out 2013 and move boldly into the new year, the more effective your focus — the more it takes into account all that makes your business possible — the greater your likelihood of staying active in the marketplace and becoming increasingly profitable. As you come to truly realize the multitude of amazing gifts that allowed you to create, own and operate your business, you’ll become more profoundly grateful. As your gratitude grows, you’ll take better care of these gifts. In return, they’ll continue to grow and give back to you.
The mere fact you’re alive is the greatest gift of all. It is your very existence that breathed life into your business. In addition, it’s the lives of your team members, customers, vendors, business partners, community and business networks that continue to infuse your company with life.
On the personal side, your parents gifted you to this world. Other family members loved and nurtured you into adulthood. Teachers educated you. And life supplied you with the experiences and support that made you who you are. Most likely, you now have a significant other and children who love you, support your vision and share you with the world so you can run your business.
Owning a business is a collective and collaborative situation, the waves of which started long before you were born and will continue to touch the lives of others long after you’re gone.
You have your health and the gift of sight. Your limbs work. You can talk. You’ll eat tonight. And if your good fortune continues, you’ll wake to live another day. Oh, the gifts you have!
With greater awareness of what has allowed your business to be and all that continues to contribute to your ongoing success, you’re less likely to take any of it for granted. When you don’t take the gifts in your life for granted, you have greater respect for them and treat them better. As you share your genuine appreciation with everyone involved in your life and business, they’ll have a tendency to give the same to you in return. This creates a wonderful circle of giving that makes business — and life — a more rewarding and pleasurable experience.
There are so many ways to express your gratitude this time of year — a hand-written card with a little something special inside selected just for that person, a party for your team members where each is recognized for their efforts with a plaque or certificate, monetary bonuses, charitable giving, discounts or gift certificates to customers or any other sincere expression of appreciation and thanks. The secret is to make your gesture personal, heartfelt and filled with authentic gratitude for what they do that makes your business all that it is.
With loved ones, one of the most powerful ways to show your appreciation is to give of yourself by spending quality time with them. Express your sincere appreciation for all they’ve done with and for you throughout your life. Let them know the special place they hold in your heart and mind and allow them to share the same with you. Take time away from business to fully engage in fun activities that everyone enjoys doing together. Give them your undivided attention and love.
Take stock of all you have in your life. Really count your blessings and let your mind and heart overflow with joy. Then, share your joy by giving back what you can to those around you who make your life wonderful and your business possible. Give for the sheer joy of giving and let the very best within you rise up and touch in profound ways the very best that is within others.
I wish you all a happy and successful new year.
Short URL: http://thebusinesstimes.com/?p=13575
Posted by Marcus Straub
on Jan 8 2014. Filed under Contributors.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
Monday, January 13, 2014
Coaching Tip #998 "Leverage Your Past"
When
it comes to the past, none of us have the power to go back and change those
aspects we don’t like, or that we wish had never happened. The past is, and
always will be, as it is and unchangeable. However, the past can be accepted,
embraced and learned from - it can be leveraged for good. Trying to change the
past or escape it is futile, but using it to learn grow and become more than
you once were, is a brilliant use of the experiences that brought you here.
Mine your past for the wisdom it holds, and use it to create a here and now
that you want and enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)